


I’m like 75% sure this won’t explode on us

by CaptainAwesome242



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: DIY, Engineering, Enterprise, Five Year Mission, Food, Gen, Invention, Outer Space, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Replicators, Starfleet, Starship Enterprise (Star Trek), Technology, Tumblr Prompt, hunger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 04:38:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7920829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesome242/pseuds/CaptainAwesome242
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim wasn’t sure if he should be excited or concerned to find out what had made his short-tempered Engineer so happy...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m like 75% sure this won’t explode on us

Jim Kirk was hungry. Actually, he wasn’t hungry, he was _starving_.

Ordinarily he would have just gone to the Mess Hall to pick something up, but now he couldn’t because Bones had adjusted his food card to only allow him certain foods. The doctor had decided, wrongly in Jim’s opinion, that the Captain needed to be put onto a diet, meaning not only healthier foods but smaller portions.

Jim was not the least bit impressed.

Still, at least he wasn’t suffering alone. A number of other crewmen were facing similar problems, including his Chief Engineer. Scotty was even more irritable than before as a result of the changes to his food card, and it was with great trepidation that his subordinates arrived in the Engineering department let alone present him with a problem.

But even so, it was hard to command a ship when his stomach grumbled every few minutes. Especially when Spock raised his eyebrow and Chekov cast him guilty glances every time. That was the other thing that irked him about the whole thing: while he and Scotty starved, Bones had decided that Chekov wasn’t eating _enough_ and upped his portions. It almost felt as though he’d scooped the food right off of Jim’s plate and onto Chekov’s.

He was drawn out of his musings when the communication icon on his chair beeped.

_“Engineering to Bridge,”_

“Kirk here,”

_“Mr Scott here, sir. Would you mind popping down to Engineering for a moment?”_

Kirk was intrigued by the barest hint of mischief behind an otherwise innocent voice...

“Sure, I’ll be there in a minute. Kirk out.” He turned to his First Officer “Spock, take the Conn,”

Jim took the turbolift down and walked through the corridors, cringing as his stomach only seemed to gargle as he passed other crewmen, until he finally reached Engineering. Scotty was waiting for him at the entrance.

“Ah, Captain, glad you could make it. I’ve got something to show you,” he announced before leading the way.  Jim wasn’t sure if he should be excited or concerned to find out what had made his short-tempered Engineer so happy.

“Hey, Scotty, where are we going?” Jim asked after they had been walking for a while and were getting to the more secluded parts of the Deck.

“Almost there,” Scotty announced, not answering the question.

Soon enough they reached an inconspicuous door which Scotty entered a code into before ushering Jim inside, the door sliding shut behind them. In the middle of the room sat the reason for Scotty’s improved mood, and the reason for Jim’s increased trepidation:

It was a machine of some sort that looked as though it had been constructed from various parts of other machines. The whole contraption looked like a lumpy mishmash of discarded metal, and to top it off parts of it were glowing.

“What is that, Mr Scott?” Jim asked cautiously, turning to face the grinning Engineer.

“That, Captain, is the solution to our problem,”

Jim cocked his head, looking warily at the device, “We’re gonna blow something up?”

“What!? No, that’s not a bomb!” Scotty looked scandalised.  

Jim quirked an eyebrow, “You sure? This thing looks ready to blow,”

“No, Captain, there’s not even any explosives in it. Well...” Scotty’s sentence petered off.

“What do you mean ‘well’? You mean there _are_ explosives in that?”

“Yes, an inconsequential amount, but they’re not being used as explosives in this, and it’s not designed to explode anyway,”

“Scotty, is this thing gonna blow?” Jim asked, needing a straight answer.

“I’m pretty sure it won’t, it’s highly unlikely,”

“In a percentage?”

“Fine, I’m like . . . 75% sure this won’t explode on us,”

Jim still felt uneasy about the 75%, “What exactly is it, Scotty? You said it was the answer to our problem?”

Scotty brightened again, “Aye, Captain. I’ve made us our own private food replicator,”

“A food replicator? Does it work?” Jim was intrigued, if doubtful.

“Does it—Now, Captain, after everything I’ve done you could have a little faith,” Scotty frowned.

“Sorry,” Jim muttered, feeling suitably chastised, “So, show me what it can do,”

“Right,” Scotty agreed before punching a few buttons.

The machine groaned and whirred, and the glowing lights began flashing, bathing Scotty’s face in a greenish glow. About ten seconds later a previously unnoticed hatch opened and a plate containing two slices of pizza appeared. Scotty took the plate and offered it to Jim.

“It doesn’t need a food card to operate, you just need to programme in what you want and voila!” Scotty beamed as Jim took a slice of pizza from the plate.

He took a cautious bite, aware of Scotty eagerly awaiting his reaction, only to try and shove the rest into his mouth in one go. It was the best pizza he’d ever had!

“Oh, Scotty,” he moaned with his mouth full, “This is the best!”

“Aye, it creates top quality nosh, and as I said it doesn’t need a food card – the doctor need never know,”

Unfortunately, Doctor McCoy did discover their little secret when it overloaded with the sheer amount of food it was being forced to produce, despite Scotty’s 75% guarantee.


End file.
